What I have learned: A year in retrospect

It seems absolutely impossible that a year has gone by.  We arrived here one year ago today!  Thinking back on that day (and those first three months) Amanda and I are surprised at how well we did seem to cope.  When we landed, I had hardly slept in 48 hours and we had to stay up the whole day to combat jet lag.  I laid on the bed and cried - the combination of extreme exhaustion, shot nerves, intense heat - they did me in.  Amanda thought I was going to turn around and go home that same day (which was never an option!)  The first three months weren't easy by any means.  There are still those days where you think to yourself, "Why in the world am I here?"  But then there are those moments when you are reminded why you're here.  And it makes it worth it.    

So here is what I have learned (and re-learned) in this past year:

• God is faithful.  This is something I think we all are constantly learning.  I have such a slow burning heart and I'm quick to forget that He always has been and will continue to be faithful through the ups and downs.
• My moods/feelings change by the week/day/hour/minute/milli-second.  One minute I can love being here, love what I'm doing, love the people and the next thing that happens and I'm feeling the complete opposite.  You CANNOT depend on feelings.  Staying put is a daily choice.  This is a commitment. 
• Don't let my mind dwell on what I'm missing.  It only makes it worse.  [And then there are those times when I'm on the phone with my dad and he orders in the Krystal drive-thru...  really, dad!?? :)  ]
• People surprise you.  It is amazing to me how people I have never even met and/or barely know have been so encouraging and supportive - through emails, cards, etc.  The reverse is also true - a lot of people who you think you are somewhat close with - seem to disappear.
• Knowing beforehand that the disconnection from people you care about is coming doesn't make the pain any less real.  I thought (erroneously) that because I was well-informed of what would happen (culture shock, loss of relationships, loss of being able to do simple things), that I was immune to the emotions of it.  Wrong! 
• Then there are those that go above and beyond - those close family members and friends who are rock solid and are there to talk whenever.  I'm forever thankful for these people.
• Still learning the art of being vulnerable - this job lends itself to change and people moving in and out of your life frequently.  Being willing to open up, knowing full-well that one day the inevitable goodbyes are coming is always a struggle.
• Speaking of people - once I did let down my guard, I realized that God had placed an AMAZING group of people here.  I just had to give them a chance :)
• I could NOT have asked for a better teammate and partner than Amanda.  I am so thankful every day for her.  I would not have wanted to do this with anyone else.  Her calm, steady personality is complementary to my crazy side :)  I also love our weekly life chats!
• I could not have asked for a better team or supervisors.  We are truly blessed in this area and we know it.  I have heard many stories of teams having difficulties.  Each person on our team is so different and unique and we all bring out the best in each other.  
• Learning a language is HARD!
• Everything (and I mean everything) can be cooked from scratch.  And I actually enjoy cooking.
• I never thought I could come to the point where I actually liked a cold shower.  
• Driving a stick-shift is fun!  Driving in West Africa with no rules is even more fun!
• This is NOT a trip.  This is life.  This is my job.  And as such, there are many positives and negatives to that.
• Before this job, I never realized how much pride I used to take in being successful in a job.  As someone I love pointed out, you need to be careful of your definition of success.  All my other jobs had well defined parameters.  I've always excelled in school and every job I had previously I have been proficient in.  (And there is nothing wrong in doing things well!)  BUT - this is a whole new ball game.  The job is 24/7.  I feel like we wrestle with more failure than success.  And then one of the adversary's favorite tools comes into play:  guilt.  I have had to learn how to handle failure gracefully - Who to turn to and how to keep going.  I think this is probably one of the most valuable lessons I am learning.  There is no condemnation to those who are in JC.

Thank you to those who have offered your continued pryers, support, encouragement, Skype calls, regular phone calls, cards, packages with American goodies, and the many other ways you have shown your love!  This has been an incredible year of growth and I look forward to what is in store in this next year to come! :)